How to get your life together in ten days


Briana Turcotte

Junior, Ally McSwain, stumbles trying to collect the shambles of her life within the halls of Normal West.

When trying to get your life together you may struggle and will most likely end up giving up or failing. As a pro life-getter-togetherer, I’m here to share a few crucial steps that will help guide you down the path of having a life that is together.

Step one: wait until the very last minute to do anything

Whether it be homework, notes, test corrections, makeup work, etc. The hardest class possible has an eight page reading guide? Wait until 11 pm the night before to start it!

If you like being a emotionally stable and having great mental health do this, for sure!

Step two: turn everything in late no matter what

Do not, I repeat, do not ever turn in an assignment on time! Whether it be a job application, test corrections for your advanced placement psychology class, a 50 point research paper, or even possibly an article for a journalism class, *cough cough*. Your grade will be affected, but you know what they say, “You only live once.”

Step three: definitely do not study ever

Never study! Just wing all of your tests and quizzes! Feeling stupid and being completely unprepared is awesome and one of the best feelings ever!

Step four: hold in all of your emotions

Whatever you do, don’t show any signs up emotion! Everyone will think you are weak and will try to tell you how to get your life together. Trust me, they’re wrong and will lead you down the path of a very messy life. Keep all of your emotions inside and bottle it up. Never. Express. A. Single. Feeling.

Step five: always wake up and show up late

Who doesn’t love the good rush of being late in the morning because “your alarm didn’t go off.” There is nothing better than the feeling when you wake and realize you had a breakfast plan that started 15 minutes ago. It’s ok, they won’t notice that you didn’t brush your teeth.

Editor’s Note:

I absolutely do not recommend following all of these steps. I promise this won’t work out and your life will not be together. Instead make good decisions, wake up on time, and never ever hold your emotions in.  Just because so many students follow these tips, please don’t believe these will lead to a “put-together” life.